Ryan Ware's Quote Laboratory

"That girl is about to vault herself onto a fence post" Rainy (Into the WIld)

"Wearing a condom during sex is like wearing a rain jacket on a log flume ride" Anonymous

"When the good lord was handing out courage you were crouched in your locker peeing on your gym socks" Charlie Harper (Two and a Half Men)

"In a land of predators the lion never fears the jackal" Dexter

"I'm the thing wet dreams are made of" Anonymous

"I'd rather laugh with the sinners" Andy (Weeds)

"I've had smarter people around me all my life, but I haven't run into one yet that can outwork me. And if they can't outwork you, then smarts aren't going to do them much good. That's just way it is. And if you believe that and live by it, you'd be surprised at how much fun you can have." Woody Hayes

"Fame has sent a number of celebrities off the deep end, and in the case of Michael Jackson, to the kiddy pool " Bill Maher

Suicide is man's way of telling God, "You can't fire me - I quit." Bill Maher

"You know  that show "Amazing Race" is that about white people" Zack Galifianakis

"When your wife, on her honey moon, tells you to cock her, you cock her god damnit!" Jerry Stiller

"She is nuttier than a rat turd at a peanut factory."

girl at bar, "Please buy me a rose",  guy at bar, "I'll buy you a rose when you shake my dick after I piss",